If I shoot you, I’m brainless, but if you shoot me, you’re famous. What’s a n*gga to do? – Jay-Z, Streets Is Watching
My pen name is Vaughn Streetz. Contrary to what you may think I’m not a thug. Even though the name Streetz might imply otherwise, I’m a pretty calm and levelheaded individual (Those who ask will know the origin of the name). However, every man has their tipping point. Every man has a limit. In the game Final Fantasy VII, they have this thing called a limit. The Limit Break is the point where the character was either severely injured, or they built up enough energy that they could deliver a special attack. I feel like I have a pretty high limit. I’m not easily offended, but at the same time I watch out for disrespect. Over the weekend, I found my limit being tested once again.
At a party for my homeboy, where everything was supposed to be cool, you always have that one asshole that wants to be tough. There are so many dudes who can look intimidating, but wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight. Those them dudes I don’t like. Anyway, I found myself in the position where son was getting smart at the mouth & was being disrespectful. I had two choices: I could either talk to him like a man, have him see the error of his ways, and go about my business, OR I could knock him the fuck out. As much as I wanted to throw down, I aired on the side of caution and chose to walk away. Anyone who knows me knows that when it comes to altercations I’m not the aggressor. However I have a constant internal battle when these situations occur. Do I cool out, or release my inner goon and go to work?!
My mind was going nuts in that brief moment. I literally felt like I had the devil on my right shoulder and angel on my left shoulder trying to convince me what to do. Let’s just say that the devil on my right made a few good points that even the angel on my left had to cosign. However I still decided not to do anything that I may regret later. Later on in that night, a similar situation occurred where I was tested. Needless to say I failed the second time around. I mean, there’s only so much one man can take right? I totally lost myself in the moment. This dude, who was pretty upset that there was a party going on across the hallway while he was trying to get some sleep, decided to take all his aggression out on me and my peoples. Now, we were just looking for party, but he was looking for sleep and I can dig that. We were getting ready to leave and he decided to let loose. When I gave him directions on how to find his chill, and informed him that you need to direct that anger to the people actually having the party, he decided to blackout on me even when I was walking away. That, my friends, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. When I tell you that that scene look like Rick Ross’s Hold Me Back video I wasn’t joking. I mean now I see why Liam Neeson has to deliver the fade to the Albanians.
Any way I say all of this to bring up some interesting points. Men are very proud individuals. We never want to feel disrespected or ever want to feel like someone got one over on us. These type of situation define the type of men you can encounter. There are the hotheads who you know will fight at the drop of the time. There are dudes who will be diplomatic. There are dudes who will let you speak on until they hear a certain keyword or phrase where all hell will break loose. They each have their pros and cons but it’s just good to recognize the type of person you are. The biggest reason why some dudes will fight even when they know its wrong is because they’ve never want to live with the regret of wondering what would’ve happened if they didn’t #react. I’ve felt this many times throughout my life. Times where I’ve walked away from fights times where people were clearly in the wrong. Situations where I had to place hands on silly people and lived by the mantra “We’ll be sorry tomorrow”. I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I felt bad that I didn’t do something wrong.
Now I will preface that by saying sometimes you have to be wrong in a situation. Depending on the circumstance ignorance might be the way. It’s up to you as an individual to choose when the time to be wrong & stick by your convictions and really represent feed yourself. The Jay-Z quote that I started off this blog with (which coincidently has remnants of my penname in the title), is the epitome of why I chose to walk away. If I go nuts and beat down someone, especially if it’s not even the house of a friend, I look like an idiot. People will look at me and say JJ I expect more from you. You should be better than that. You know better, etc. If I don’t do anything, I walk away feeling bad that I gave that person who was in the wrong a false sense of security. I found that hard to swallow (because I have a lot of pride), and I don’t think I’ll ever fully accept it. But I know I did the right thing. No matter how pissed I am that I didn’t flip those dudes and rearrange their jawlines in eight different places, I know I got the right.
Let me share a quick story on why keep this policy.. I used to play basketball with my sister’s ex-boyfriend. This dude was a hot head. You could cough on his girl and he would want to fight you. So anyway, we’re playing ball and he gets fouled or something like that and starts talking shit back and forth with the opposing player. I actually knew a couple of the players there. I intercede and ask for them to please give son a pass not make it hot. For one, I didn’t want to come back with dude folded up and have to answer questions. For two, son wasn’t my man like that and we didn’t have a bond that would require me to fight for him. Let’s not forget also, that we were outnumbered about 15 to 2 in there. Actually 15 to 1 1/2 because I still was on the fence on fighting for my sister’s boyfriend. Long story short, dude get snuffed and he’s kind a lucky he walked away from that. It could’ve been a lot worse. A few months later I’m partying in the club and who do I see walk by, but one of the dudes that was in that scuffle. Needless to say, the world is very small and you never know who you will run into. That’s 1 reason I always find my chill. You never know who you’re going to see and who’s going to see you.
There is a time and place for everything. There is a time for diplomacy and a time when proper force is required. Walking that fine line between civility and hostility is an acquired talent. You never want to be so diplomatic because in my opinion people won’t respect you. They will know they can be disrespectful and push the envelope with you without the threat of physical retaliation. If you are a hot head people will see you more as a beast then a man. I’m glad that I wasn’t with more irrational people who would’ve turnt that situation up on the drop of a dime. I’m proud that I was taught better than to have to resort to unnecessary violence. Respect is earned better with the way in which you carry yourself, as opposed to your intimidation. Respect > Fear. I know this sounds like a ramble, but I had to type this out to calm myself down and remind myself that I’m grown, and unless a dude swings first, there’s no reason to be #reacting in that manner. You can put a dude in their place without laying hands on them. I know I did right, and I’m glad I chilled.
It would’ve felt good to UFC that coward tho…
Man Whatever, lol I’m Out.
Happy Sunday
While reading this story I couldn’t help but wonder if dudes try you because you’re a nice looking guy.
Do you believe you get tested because of the way you look & carry yourself?
You know it’s always going to be some crab hating on whatever minute thing they can find. Smh. But it was good that you were able to keep your cool during the first altercation. You never know nowadays…ninjas don’t fight, they shoot. You have to preserve your life as long as you can especially as a Black man.