Fellas,
If you are an avid Facebook user like myself, then there’s certain policies and procedures that you need to follow in order to expand your social networking experience. You may have questions about what to say to a new friend, how to approach a FB situation, etc. I’m hearing stuff from dudes and females alike about facebook pitfalls thy follow in the day to day activities of social networking and it must stop! It’s time for a Streetztalk Intervention. This is mostly for the fellas, but ladies you’ll see that some things can apply to you too. Im goin in…and I might not make it back!!!
1. Profile Pics
Many times, cats will tell me about this “dime” they friended on FB, or whom they saw, and felt COMPELLED to holla. We see profile pics and think “Wow shes cute/pretty/sexy..whats REALLY good?!”. There’s a MAJOR caveat to the profile pic: The quality of the person in the profile pic is skewed, because profile pics are designed to make the person look their best. You want to find out if a person looks good for real (other than face to face contact, which might be stalkeresque…especially if yall from different states), you look at the TAGGED pics! These pics provide a comprehensive look at the woman in general, for the following reasons:
- A person doesn’t police their tagged pics crazily, so you don’t have to worry about them picking “the best” from that pool.
- You get photos in different situations, angles, moods, etc. You can then see how non profile pics correlate to the woman, and truly get an idea of that person you found “FB” attractive!
- Just like in #1, you also have to be careful about chicks with profile pics that only show the head. You need to see the entire package..or you’ll catch a SERIOUS L!
This also applies to photo albums. They pick which pics to show, but you can get a good idea most times. Worst case scenario: You’ll see friends who may > the original target! GET IT IN!!
2. Friend Requests
Let’s all keep it funky: We’ve at some point in time sent a friend request to someone we thought was badd, by lookin on our common friends contact list(I call it OPC). Although I am down with OPC, you have to do it with style. Better yet, you have to keep it simple. If you are confident in how you look, the friendly facebook aura that you exude from your profile pic, or just say “fcuk it”, you’ll send a friend request with no message (safe option). My problem is the stories I’ve heard about what dudes say to women when friending them. I’ve heard everything like “Yo ma I got $$$ fux wit ya boi!” to “You got a fatty shawty I NEED THAT SHYT!” to.. “When you comin over?” lmao!!! As much as that makes me cry in laughter, fellas, we must stop shooting ourselves (No plax-o) with the lame commentary. You’ll get hit with the ignore-block-report 3 piece combo QUICK!
My suggestion? Keep it real. Send a message and say something like “hey I see we both know xxx, so I’m sending a friend request” or something along those lines. That’s a safe out, where you can start a dialogue about knowing each other and get that request. OR, you can keep it real, without sounding like Romey Rome. Do believe the ladies will friend request dudes like “I like what I see, so i sent the request”. Yall already know how the male-female double standard rolls, so when they go out on a limb, unless u find them super unattractive, not accepting the request is suss, lol. I would say do that or just random request and see what happens. I think women would be a little more inviting if you came non hostile, and wasn’t in beast mode to holla at them. Ladies correct me if I’m wrong.
Finally, DON’T ADD ANYONE WHOM YOU WOULDN’T SPEAK TO PERSONALLY OR PROFESSIONALLY!! Mess around and get an e-stalker then wanna ask “what happened?” hahahaha
3. Mutual Friends
This one is KEY! Fellas, this goes hand in hand with #2. You can find out direct information about a woman off the strength of mutual friends! If you have a common friend that you know, you can holla with the side message for the 4-1-1. Even more telling, I’d friend request or accept a friend request from a shorty I found attractive, and check her mutual friends. You know what I looked for? Those certain dudes who you KNEW if he was friends with her…then he probably jumped off or has info about jump procedures. I especially said “there goes another one’ when I saw 2 or more of those dudes on the mutual friends list. You call it discriminatory, I call it forensics. Now when I did inquire of those dudes, they could put me on and I could act accordingly. Moral of the story: Use your resources. The more info the easier to proceed.
4. Wall Post Etiquette
YES I am going to talk about wall post etiquette. The dude who originated the Wall Wars and will write soliloquies on a wall, hahahhaa. Here’s the thing: I’ll do that with people whom I’m actually friends! LOL. Seriously though, if/when you get the friend request, and you converse through wall to wall messages, if you find yourself writing your life story on a wall, please take it to the messages. For discretionary purposes, it helps you to have more engaging conversation that all of Facebook doesn’t need to see(especially the mutual friends who you may not want to know you are trying to holla). How many of you dudes holla’d at a woman, friended her friend, tried to holla, and dropped your whole G on a wall and got blown up! Smh… Fellas for your sake, please take it to the messages, because I’d hate to see someone go Jaz Sullivan on your whip/house/HDTV/Ipod. Don’t think the Facebook Federales aren’t watching your every move!!
5. Status Messages
Some people go in a little TOO hard on the statuses. I know when you wake up, eat, break up with your S/O, get an oil change, scratch your ass, ALL THAT! I’m saying is that really necessary? It’s beyond OD and we should have some FB cops policing that ish! Like why don’t they just make a site where that is the main task so all these people would stop blowin up the statuses right? I’m glad I don’t engage in such behavior. LOL
6.Honesty Box
If you want to be super bold, without the fear of “cognizant rejection” , then HB it all the way. You can get graphic, bold, whatever…at your own risk. Sometimes people are more receptive with honesty box because they want to play along with the situation. You can find things out, and have a little fun with it too. Just realize two evils of HB(well 3).
- You can solicit offers from undesirables of any kind(whether they’re ugly, if their sexual preference doesn’t agree with you, cornballs, etc)
- Someone can BLAST you without restraint and its the net, so all you can do is be mad, lol
- There can be another Honesty Box glitch and you can get revealed anyway (wow what a field day I had with that!!)
HB is a great tool but its high risk, high reward. Tread lightly.
7. Poking
With all these other gadgets on the book, I thought poking would become obsolete. on the contrary, my friends, poking was the age old tool to holla on Facebook. Think of it as the digital version of “psss!!psss!! What’s good ma?!**grabs hand**” To this day, I’ve had YEAR LONG poke wars(poking back and forth nonstop as no one will give up) with some crazy female friends of mine, lol. When you catch the poke from an unknown woman its different. You got poked with the intention of a poke back. You can send the poke back accordingly, but if it becomes over 3 exchanges, its time to end the pokes and message! Men, to poke another man is a violation of manlaw, lol.
These points convey some of the main engagement tricks of the trade. I know I may not have touched on all points, but these should hold stong for now. Any Amendments or other rules? Let me know? We may need a FB Bill of Rights or somethin… let the kid know!
I love this..so funny and so true…
LOL @ OPC. I'm down wit it…
LOL spec ur a funny dude….
You gotta be HB gangsta…. never say anything you wouldnt say to the person's face under the influence of a couple shots or a really really good Red Dev LOL
lol this was too funny I agree on the manlaw tip no man should poke another man just plain nasty as dave chappelle put it
LMAO.. this is so true, i copied my latest friend request/ lets get together message from some stranger … lol I hope he doesnt read this blog people are crazy.. Hope everyone finds the humor I found…
hey wasup i was on here and was browsing to friends pages and ppl who add me and never speak and i came across ya page i seen ya pic and said shes so finee! lol so i wrote this cute but in a grown masculine way so i can try and grab ya attention long enuff to get to kno u betta i dont have any dope lines i can feed u or anything but hey if i seen u walkin by in the street pralee wouldnt get this much out . im sure fellas feed u enuff bullshit and dreams with they words soo if ur interested in a brotha takin a chance on a cute gall hit back would love to hear from u…
I got one – dont send a random friend request to someone you dont know and have no pictures up! WTH
Yes you went in, #1 and 5 is the TRUTH…….
You are hilarious! But why no pointers for the ladies…lol
Its interchangable…lol
How about this:
If you're going to mess around with multiple women/men, get a Facebook account. That way you can keep up with your shenanigans. Don't complain about getting caught up when you're not as savvy about FB as the rest of the world, and can't figure out how so-and-so knows that you went to that party with the Other Chick/Dude.
Yea dudes need to be smart in 2009!
well played… I feel like i really have nothing more to add to that…except i am a status message abuser, and i treat fb like twitter, and have been hated on for it. Hey, the damn thing asks you "what are you doing now?" Why should i hold back on it?
lmao… that was entertaining, my only question is how do you jaz sullivan an ipod? haha
So of all people…YOU wanna really talk about status abuse??!! SMH
Well written…but YOU must have mad time on your hands!! I envy you!!
LMAO! Dang..u got this down pact huh Jeff?
Streetz,
This is a Classic..I can't stop laughing because its all sooo true…however, nothing is more true than the Status Abuse…People call me or text me "like why haven't I heard from you?? I could be dead" and I reply, Your Azz aint dead because Your status on FB change every five damn minutes..I mean really…why the abuse??? I'm thinking if my life is sooo fucked up and I am having such a hard time, my first thought will not be to Roll out of bed without washing my azz or handling my morning breath to uppdate my FB Status…..I mean Really!!!!
This was quality… and I really want to believe that many people are hip to the game, THEY ARE NOT.
I need to come up with the how to be FB shady rules… Cause I friend request NO ONE…… and I screen people who request me. I dont need the world knowing my every move. Ya diggg…
I digg 100%… hahahhaa the shady rules could pop off though!
Man, you poke another dude, that's INSTANT block-report. LOL
Or how about this: For dudes who add a chick, then find out she has a man (a man for real, not just has her status as such), just bow out, and delete her.
Wooowww…"Yo ma I got $$ fux with ya boi!" LMFAO!! Courting has really gone down the shit pipe, smh. Bravo..well done!
Thanks for the comments everyone! I'm going to do a part 2 after feedback from all of you.
@ Dee – I write these ahead of time and publish them on certain days… you knwo in our industry theres no time to sit around typin blogs!!
I have a whole slew of fb experiences to build upon, I know you all do too… FB is real in these streetz!
This is too funny, especially with the tagged photos LMAO! The friend request rule is so true. I don't approve requests from people I don't know through somebody, or that looks like someone I don't wanna know. The messages with the friend requests? I have received some outlandish ones. I had a picture up with some Sorors throwing up the pinky, so some ghetto negroid thug sends me a message along with a request talking about "you frat hoes is fine as hell." The rest was something like I wanna get to know you but I didn't read past the frat hoes part LMAO! DID press ignore really quickly!
yo. your blogs keep me crackin up! fb rules. ha, people who keep up with that pokin mess get blocked, fo real.
#6 just made my heart drop!!!
I kinda went in on a few honesty boxes and if i got revealed imma be tight! lol
Jeff this is HILARIOUS! But it is SOOOOOO true! Good ish! Oh and welcome to WordPress…I thought your blog was on blogspot before! I love wordpress!
Yea Jay-Bird, I had to make the power switch! WordPress is HOT!
And yea.. I had to hit em with these rules, I'm about to write a follow-up!
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Thanks for reading! Just thought about it one day a LONG time ago. HA!
it's definitely true that those social networks become more and more popular and a large potential marketing place for commercials. should be some rules to regulate it!!!
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