Due to the Impact of the Inauguration, I had to put this one on hold. There was no way that I could forget to tell the story of my SUNDAY night out in DC! In typical GlobeTrotter Confessionary format, you must experience the experience I experienced that day!
First off, me and my dude Rome stood online at Park on Fourteenth(one of the most poppin clubs in the District) while we waited for Jackson and Bottle Poppers Inc to arrive so we could VIP. While we waited, dudes took ample opportunity to sell Obama apparel. One lady came through with O-Buttons 1 for $6, 2 for $10. Sorry lady, not droppin a dime for something I will lose later. Then, in a move that utterly pissed me off, this next dude was selling “Obama water”. Muthafcuka, its -2000 outside and you’re selling water?!! You want my insides to freeze and kill me so that you can rob me or something? How about Obama Hot Chocolate? Obama Coffee? Or even Obama not something cold to drink in the winter ASS!!!! Smh… He got denied accordingly.
Jax arrives and we do our slide off the line into VIP. Before you claim that I have a chicken side, Jax was compensated for his efforts (My mom raised me with class), and off we went!
This VIP story is two-fold. We had a couple of hilarious moments in our VIP and others, that makes this story special.
First in our VIP. We started off watching the Steelers – Ravens game(towards the end). That hit on Willis Mcgahee almost took me out of my party mood! Glad the boy is doing well. So our VIP is filling up with Ladies and some of our homeboys too. Jax comments that we need security at our booth and successfully petitions for us to have one of these Secret Service looking boys to police our area.
So we all bring in people we know. I brought in a few teams of ladies I knew from the “erryah”(MD/DC/VA Metropolitan Area for the non ebonical reader). So I’m engaged with one lady in conversation pouring drinks feeling myself HEAVY, when all of a sudden my dude Morris starts Wildin! I hear him beefing in the background, and I can tell its not serious so I continue the convo. All of a sudden the funniest VIP drama ever erupts:
Mo: Streetz!!
Me: Mo what’s good?
Mo: I can’t breathe right now..you want to know why?!
Me: Why Morris :-/
Mo: Because of the FAT CHICKS you lettin in the VIP!!
The Scene of the Crime
Now, let me say I have NOTHING against big girls at all..truth of the matter is that I did NOT bring the chicks in question into the VIP. I was shocked, and laughing at the same time . OK back to our program…
Me: (laughing) I didn’t bring fat chicks in the club son!
Mo: Well one of your chicks did! Get em out son!
Me: (looking over at the chicks in ?tion) I think they only brought 1 big girl..you can’t let her live
Mo: I said chickS
Me: Chicks?
Mo: Yes son there’s 3! A Fcukn HERD!
Me: (still laughing) your buggin there aint 3
Rome: Jeff…theres 3 son.
Me: 3
Mo and Rome: YES!!
Mo: I’m gonna be the bad guy, they’re outta here
Me(realizing the young lady I’m speakin to may have been the culprit of smugglin the big gurls in VIP): OK let me create a diversion..lolol
So he proceeds to tell the bouncers that they gotta go, along with other random dudes and chicks we either didn’t know or didn’t want there. I later found out the reason he flipped was because the Big Gurls in ?tion attempted to bumrush the free liquor attempting to deebo him on the way. “Everybody got a cup, but they aint chip in…” That would’ve happened to anyone…but the fact that they were large and in charge(and according to them not even cute like that), got them ejected. Red or Blue pill…ya live n ya learn!
You think this is bad? See what happens when I go into another VIP in which I “wasn’t invited”
Blame it on the alcohol pt 2: Coming Soon
Blame it on the...
Let me just state some facts for the record. First & foremost, I have nothing but love for big girls. In fact, although Jers created it…who made the Big Girl stroll famous? PSI, that's who!!! So we pay hommage to all plus size women at every party.
That being said…my security simply informed me that our crowd was growing too large and spilling over to the VIP section adjacent to ours and that some of the 50+ people had to go. So I said well I guess I'll be the bad guy and pointed out every person I did not know and they were subsequently escorted out.
Now, anyone that knows me, knows that I am one of the most generous people they will ever meet but if I don't know you or am not introduced to you by someone close to me…I don't know you. That's simply how it is.
Now if we want to talk about how the plus size women got there…it's none other than Streetz and I have about 40 other people that can prove it.
Just the facts,
–Mo
Listen Mo,
You can say what you want, I introduced my guests to all the VIPers. Once you sd you didn’t know them, they were out of there. I cosigned. I didn’t know who they were but their association to my peoples(allegedely) means Im at fault? Yall need a goat, so be it.
Dont hype it either like madd cats cosigned you. You made a big scene and proceeded to name drop me like Mr Funk Flex, lol. Yall can continue to use my name in vein, I walk down Penn Ave with no fear like My President, ya bastid!! LOLOL!
LMAO I so hate you for this one. I can't read this ish at work anymore I am cracking up waaaayyyy to much to be doing work. And all the graphics—–including the Fresh Prince classic scene??? dang Jeff…. What you got against the thick-ems number?
I got nothing against big girls at all. There was just a false statement that I ushered in unwelcome people (regardless of size) to the VIP. That was the main issue. Mo hyped their size up. lol. At the end of the day, they came because of a friend of a friend, and ill take the blame… but dudes wanted to send ish on listserves sayin Jeff brings big girls in VIP, hahahaa. If I did, they'd be the flyest big gurls you ever saw!
I'on believe you dude LOL…I aint neva see you talk to a girl larger than a size 2.
<blockquote cite=""> I’on believe you dude LOL…I aint neva see you talk to a girl larger than a size 2.
Listen there's a difference between preference and discrimination. Size 2 though?! Cmon Jen you act as though i only mess with marathon runners, lmaoooo
Let me remind you it was SUNDAY NIGHT NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT Saturday you experienced this LMAO
LMAO @ Mastermind – YOURE RIGHT!
I agree with Jenn. I can't read this at work!! My co-workers are looking at me like i'm nuts because i'm laughing so hard!!!
Quality humor!!